Just Friends, For Real

Signal strength — Low. The signals here are friendly, not romantic

What's probably going on — They like you and they like having you around, but they treat you about the way they treat their other friends. They tell you who they have a crush on, they're happy in a group, and they don't get flustered around you. None of that is a bad sign about you. It usually just means that, for them, this is a friendship, and right now that's all it is. Feelings can change, but you can't make that happen, and you don't have to.

Signs pointing yes

· They clearly enjoy your company, and that part is real

· They come to you for advice, which means they trust you

· They would notice if you stopped showing up

· Easy friendships are sometimes where something starts, just not always

Signs pointing the other way

· They tell you about the people they like, openly and in detail

· They treat you about the same as everyone else in the group

· They hype you up when you mention someone else

· One-on-one time rarely happens, and they don't go looking for it

What to do next — If you want to know for sure, ask them, honestly and kindly. If the answer is that they see you as a friend, respect it, stop there, and give yourself some space to feel whatever you feel.

What not to do — Don't treat the friendship like a deal that fell through, and don't keep dropping hints or waiting for them to change their mind. Their answer is not a verdict on your worth.

One line for you — Being someone's good friend is not a consolation prize, and not being their crush says nothing about what you're worth.